Here the Italians had married Eritreans and stayed in East Africa after the war. They called their children Cafe latté, after coffee and milk.” We w
Source: In Eritrea while Vietnam Raged – Cargo Literary Magazine
Here the Italians had married Eritreans and stayed in East Africa after the war. They called their children Cafe latté, after coffee and milk.” We w
Source: In Eritrea while Vietnam Raged – Cargo Literary Magazine
A Memory of a Memory
by James Ross Kelly
At four, my parents’ divorce had moved my father and me from Rock Island, Illinois, south to the small Kansas town where I was born. My father had gained my custody in an era when men were generally not given custody of children. He accomplished this by getting my mother drunk just before court. His justification was that, in his absence, my mother had gone on a binge and left me alone in our apartment for almost two days. I have no memory of this. He had no apologies. My father was taking me to my grandmother’s house with my grandmother in his ’48 Ford. I had been excited about the house, and had a memory of it as glistening white.
Before all this, I had moved from Kansas and my grandmother’s house at two years old with my mother. We…
View original post 352 more words
I was once paid
To survey Yew trees
In Old Growth forests
In Oregon near Crater Lake
Mammoth Douglas fir & White fir
Covered the landscape, rolling sides
Of Mountains, the Yew were generally
In wet areas, crevices of creeks
They grew as attendant soldiers to the large conifers
Only the fifty to sixty feet the oldest of them
Lining the feeder streams that stretched downward
To Creeks that all ran to the Rogue River
The surrounding clearcuts were littered with their
Brothers & sisters as they were sexed male & female
Into large piles to be burned as unmerchantable
In Canada they made them into beautiful hardwood flooring,
After closing a bar in British Columbia I was drinking beer
At a timber fallers home & complemented him on his floor
As it was gorgeous red hues & blond running throughout
The lengths of the boards, & I asked him what kind of wood
It was, as I had installed wood floors for about as brief a time as
I had logged, “THAT,” he said, as he waved his Molson,
“Is Canadian Yew wood!” & he said it as if it came from the Queen herself
The females have tiny red berries but were no different in appearance
Than the males, but that they were dioeciously conifers with separate sexes
Was something that seemed an oddity, yews were generally few & far
Between but in the right conditions they would form stands that followed
The creeks downhill & appeared as un-uniformed limby
Gnarly red barked ever green twisted with holes & grown
Over defects that were as old as the tall Douglas fir
Their large European counter parts were used as chapels
By early European Christians who took them from
Pagan worshipers that found their otherworldly appearance
In deep forest to be contingent with forested landscape as a being
Rather than separate commodities, & I who had formerly spent
My short forestry career in clearcuts where all this had been raped,
Well, the three weeks I spent with Yews, kind of sealed this notion
That yes this separate place was an amalgam of earth, with a presence
All its own, we were surveying Yew because its bark had been found
To be a cure for breast & ovarian cancer , the worry at the time was
That we had cut too much of it & the need for it for medicine would
Be its demise in a few short years—perhaps every incurable disease has
Its counterpart, the European Yew were almost wiped out because of its
Prize as the commodity for long bows, this is really more understandable
Rather than the overuse because it was “just in the way,” of D-8 cats and
The ever present need to tidy up & burn the left over’s so we could entertain
The notion of growing back trees like corn that
Rather had, in an elegant fashion been growing to cure
The beloved’s: the grandmother’s, the mothers, the young women whose
Lives were to come into an age of live out of balance
All of us reductionist drones that corporate the lovely, & the obscure
Into spreadsheets & bottom lines while the checkerboard square clearcuts
Of Pacific Northwest took away the great bands of yew & the spotted
Owls—who were never seen as created harbingers of loveliness,
& health & the sure goodness of answers to all our problems
I was listening to my wife
Tell a story from work
About a small girl with a wad
Of chewing gum in her hair,
& as she drove I was trying
to look at notes from
A lecture by Rupert Sheldrake
From last year, Sheldrake was making
The point that civilizations have laws
& tribes have customs, as my wife talks
About the child I remember her
From last year & her notable step-father
Tattoo Tom we’ll call him, he’s full body tats
& gangland Northern Cali,
Been down by law many times, he
Was out then, but awaiting a jam that
Would likely send him back to prison, in the meantime
He would chat with my wife when he walked the
Kids to school, they were always on time well groomed
& happy, he told my wife of drive by shootings,
& holding the kids in his arms in a safe space
As the bullets tore through the house,
He’d been on the same tier as Charlie Manson
In Pelican Bay, or some other Maximum Security
Can, all locked away from all the rest of us, Tom had made
His amends, but he’d not become a civilian, since
He’d been born into the gang life & the customary model
Was criminality, yet Tom still deeply cared
For the children & they were happy, but now he’s back down by law
& the little girl has had gum in her hair
For the entire weekend, is always late for school,
& doesn’t always have clean clothes
Sheldrake, from my notes, says,
“Atheistic scientists cannot have the Mind of God
For the source of the physical laws of the universe.”
—neither did Manson
The Vaux’s swifts that had been up
& down the river feeding on flying insects,
Began to draw close & come together
With high, rapid twittering, high whistled chipping,
In ever tightening circles,
Swirling & swirling,
They all go up to spin together in a great pinwheel-like circle,
Coming more & more altogether directly above the chimney,
Then suddenly, in one morphic resonant being they come down
& into a whirling black-funnel-down tornado-like cloud gyre,
Fifty feet in height, above the house & then into-the-chimney
In a second or two,
Full of this day’s hatch settling & chittering for
Brick gripped sleep.

My father never drank
by James Ross Kelly
My father never drank
While he was working
When he was not working
A bottle of Jim Beam appeared
On the dining room table like a Roman pillar
And when it drained down another appeared.
My father was generally working
Sixteen hour days in the oilfields
Seven days a week until
A well came in or there was a dry hole
In between in the moving of the oil derrick
He was off, & he would drink, in the
Mornings there was beer at Lyle’s
& later at the St. James Hotel
Where there might be a card game
& I’d drink cokes and stare at the
Huge painting of Custer’s Last Stand
On a barstool I’d sit & his pals
Would call me little Jim Beam, I took no
Notice of this but liked the smell of stale beer
& the…
View original post 396 more words

THESE PELICANS
by James Ross Kelly
Four pelicans on a log downriver
Sit like squatting men
this crimson Sacramento River evening,
& one rises up a sleepy watchman
& slowly waves his wings,
As a good breeze blows up river,
Paired mergansers begin to move away
As I sit down and look at the pelicans
Whose white through binoculars
becomes pink for a moment
With changing clouds & sunset
Coming
I’ve never wanted flamingos,
I’ve been waiting
For these damn pelicans to show,
& they sleep on the log
All the while I’m sitting under cottonwoods
That release a snow like namesake floating &
Blowing up river, & mallards
Begin to sound and take air across the river
Two pair wheel & move up river
Then turn again, reverse & land
Near the shore below me
Across from the pelicans,
By me the wild grape from
The cottonwood hangs dead
View original post 266 more words
On the death of poet David Lloyd Whited
It has been over four fortnights since my friend
David died, his widow at his deathbed calling
Me & asking me to speak to him
Through the phone, he in a coma
Children and Marian around so, I panicked &
I prayed the only Christian prayer
I could think of, “Lord bring him back
We need him here, his good cheer and we
Need more of him and Lord don’t take him!”
I’ll apologize to no man for my panic
When his wife arrived from her
Work that Friday he first allowed that he’d not gone
To work as he was feeling bad, & minutes later he
Was on the floor, that Friday night
Having collapsed trying to sit up with Marian’s help
On his couch, didn’t feel good that day
& he stiffened up and went to the floor
I was 700 miles down I-5 I could not go
& there was no good outcome surmised by doctors
The Poet’s heart had given way
In Alaska I saw repeatedly every deer season
An Unkindness of Ravens as they are called
When in a feeding frenzied group to
Herald every afterkill of blacktail deer,
A snow laden clamor of raven and eagle
Blood on white snow unsympathetic
As most obituaries but louder, & yet
I know only the antidote of fond memory
David & I as young men
Drank and read our poems aloud
& reading poems we crawled through bars & bistros
& fished behind the Snake River dams
& off the derelict sand barge on Maurey Island
& caught ling and true Cod & sharks out of the Puget sound
I carried him out of at least three bars & one night
Off the Tramp Harbor pier
This was the man that wrote:
“Sadness Drives a Fast Red Car”
He died Sunday morning after Thanksgiving
I did not go to the funeral, did not know of a wake
Cremated out of the hospital & as there is usually
These days, no acknowledgement of the body as a rite
A memorial in a church in Tacoma was due
Work friends, one brother, grieving Marian & son & daughters
I called her the morning of the funeral
& I asked her to open all the windows
In their little house on the Puget Sound
At the mouth of Judd Creek
When she left to go to Tacoma.
My good poet friend David is dead
The universe as
We know it, may be contained
In a large room where doors
Open and close, & exactly
As Jacob observed, Angels
Are busily rising or
Descending to earth & perhaps other galaxies,
& that this, quite contrary to any cynical view,
Is the most important of rooms..
& our entry and exit—all of us..
Well known
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 920 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 15 trips to carry that many people.
Anger of a kind
rests in the contours
of our palms,
inexpressible
Anger of a kind
with clenched fist
demands hearing of
why & wherefores
to this satiated life
Anger of a kind
bleeds from open wounds
& wombs, distended
bellies, machine-gunned children
nerve gassed children, & children killed by suicide bombs
Anger of a kind
wretches at the politicos,
foreign & domestic,
whose wart-healing
short-term gain
infects itself & all
that it touches
with promises & putrescence’s
Anger of a kind cries to a limpid
unconsciousness not
to accept anguish, suffering,
murder, ignorance, nor placation
solely because they have always been
or, because they have always been paid off
Anger of a kind stands
witness for all that come after, sometimes
having used a tempered edge for necessary deadly force
and final will for change, & that swift bitch–change herself
This anger is kind.
On entering
The Tehama County library
I find a sumptuous oak table
Locate the latest
National Geographic
& learn the favorite meal of the
Inuit, in Isortoq, Greenland
Is seal
Dipped in Ketchup & Mayonnaise
The last two pieces of oak have gone
Into the stove
& it’s too dark & icy to get more,
Inside the stove a chunk to the right
Smolders & pops
To the left about thirty seconds
Ago the other said the same
It is getting cold—a jet
High above at this moment
Is taking someone
Toward a sad occasion
We all suffer
Iris in a water carafe
Is stupidly trying to bloom
In December
On the hot stove I dropped Frankincense
This after noon
& a Holy odor
Pervades this cabin
No priests on this mountain
Wind chimes however
Announce epiphany
Unrecorded
Lovers embrace in
Immaculate numbers
All over the planet
Genetic material furthered
To be exactly what they
Are, themselves, guiltless after Christ,
Either by love or some other reason
Life brings on abundant life &
His own purpose
& like the tides, surges connection
Recedes, then surges again.
Stepping out into
The crisp night air under leafless
Oaks, there is a clean
Smell that can only be
Had in certain places,
Venus shimmers off mountain
Horizon, I thought maybe
You were looking at her too
Glimmering off your Bodega Bay
The pliable ivory of your face
& red hair
& connected pervasively,
Venus occluded with moon
Four days ago.
While you know
I don’t buy Astrology
& for you that’s part
Of your faith & that’s all right
For you then
I wonder about now
Three days before this evening
I’m told of twelve people
Are meeting
Three of which believe
That they are from Venus
& have video tape of
Venusian space ship
Landing on earth
Life is preciously beautiful
& we are part & parcel of
Gaseous formation of the adjacent
Planet & I would never want
To break up their meeting, & laughing
Though I am
Knowing that voiding time
All of this is a togethered thing &
While Botticelli’s art
Which we accept unlike
The Venusian space ship
& how he
Put her so delicately
On the half-shell
With your red hair
It is more like
A dream this art as life
Than a reverie
But there in imagination
We loved each other
& shared our last name w/out marriage
no relation & states away
A decade apart our
Birthdays, yet the same?
We astonished each other
You were swooped off
To California, but
In this cabin, this damn
Cold Oregon December,
Your red hair spilled across
My chest, your smell like
Lilac must, your
Touch soft, is soft &
Warm air becomes heavy
Acrid smoke fills the air,
A cabin, or a cave,
Or a peat heated shanty above
A wind-swept cliff & the sheep bells
Clang in the mist?
I saw a reflection in your eyes
Dim light, our bodies move,
& then we were still, & your
Touch again, it should not be
A dream, yet it was
& that’s all we had
My heart surged
Not from desire
But from wonder &
Though we never made love you
Were many times on
My arm & we many times kissed
Deep spit swapping passion
& one night we slept together
This imagination makes what it will
Yet you were always a person
Not to be worshiped
But to be known & we knew each
Other in some kind of morphic
Field that came together & said
Remember?
I don’t buy reincarnation either, but
The neo-paganism you seemed to love, hey
The playful part I get,
Masks &drums & the anthropomorphic
Notion of animals, like coyote, but
The old gods have always been
Flipping dead
Pagan playfulness, still has a black ribbon
Running through it to the diabolic,
As did the inquisition,
Or any religious spirit
In every camp—waiting
For the wrong move away
Presence interior & from
Above simultaneously
The dimness fades
& the light grows
Too, too bright
I close my eyes
Black ice on asphalt & fire
On the moon
We were both void of direction
Toward God
& then I see again your face
Surprised
Then calm, your face changes, again &
Ten out of ten of us die
& you were eventually gone
from Black Ice & Fire: Poems 1974-2014 by James Ross Kelly |
I hadn’t been home long enough to take a shower
& there came a pounding on the door & I knew only too well
Who it was and he was the last person in the world I wanted to see.
I answered the door.
“Ah Heartache my old friend,” I said,
“Come in you, son-of-a-bitch, come on in make yourself at home.
You know your way around, there’s beer in the refrigerator.
“I gotta grab a shower.”
He didn’t say a word but headed for the Hotpoint refrigerator
Next to the Frigidaire gas stove.
I got in the shower and washed off the grime from the roofing job,
I’d hated for the last month. One more week and that would be done.
Then hopefully the rains would start; I’d be off with unemployment checks
Until an editing job promised me, turned up in January
& I could get some of my own writing done,
Without worrying about the wolves at the door
Although this guy and his friends were worse than wolves
I got out of the shower and there he was with his feet propped on my coffee table
Watching the six o’clock news. He had gone through one sixteen ouncer
& was well into his second —I’d been expecting him
But was wishing he’d gone back to California where he belonged
“Looking kind of down in the mouth,” I said.
“Been with that bitch Envy again haven’t you?
What? And her sister Passion as well.
You sick bastard
That’s what I’ve always admired about you.”
I finished drying my hair and zipped open another tall boy.
I just sat there eyeing the tube with as much attention &
Chagrin at the commercials as he gave Tom Brokaw.
I wanted him out of the apartment but felt some strange
Premonition he needed to be there,
Then there came another knocking at the door.
I answered & there stood
Misery in Friday night togs looking like an escapee
from a disco pogrom years ago.
“Yeah, I might of known it would be you,” I told him as I opened the door.
“Come in it seems I’ve got some company you’re gonna love. The beers are where they stay cold.”
And it wasn’t three minutes before there I was with both of them on my couch,
Drinking my beer and arguing about the Baseball strike.
Misery was immediately on the side of the owners & caps,
Allowing as how he’d never made even one percent of average players salary
While old Heartache lashed into the right to collectively bargain
& protection under anti-trust laws & how Misery’s one percent
Was because he’d never worked longer than three months his life
& couldn’t do anything other than complain well.
I bought out three cans of oily sardines and a bag of chips
before they got around to yelling for food.
I’d scarcely gotten the hosting job done when a banging started at the back door.
“Who the hell could this be now?”
I made my way back through the rubble of beer cans
on the back porch with its idle fishing poles
& the washing machine that never worked
& there he was—his left shoulder facing me
& looking up into the sky bright almost neon
Twilight of October’s bright changing colors solemnly turning gray
“Loneliness, you bastard,” I grumbled.
“At least you brought beer,” I told him,
I made my way back into the apartment
Loneliness shuffling in behind me.
“Look who’s here boys,” I yelled
As I went for another one my beers before they were all gone.
I knew Loneliness brought the beer the least money can buy.
Every three months with the change the seasons it seemed
He abandoned whatever twelve-step he was in
& ended back on my back porch with the cheap beer
I made my way back into the living room & they all were making
More noise without saying anything, than Howard Cosell ever did,
Arguing about Self-Pity and whether he was going make it back into town.
“That’s all I need,” I said out loud, “is to have that creep show up tonight.”
I then made a mental note not let him in if he did.
When I discovered that there was nowhere to sit, I took the floor
In front of the tube and they’d switched on a two month old golf tournament
Where a baseball game should have been, &
I knew it was going to be a bad night.